Respect Your Elders, Yea Right!

So, it's been awhile but I just wanted to write a quick post before I get ready to go out to the club 2nite, which btw thank God cuz I can't be home right now. So my life is very busy now. I have my internship T, Th and F from 9-3 and then I am in a paid dance group so we have practive every Wed from 7:30 - 9pm. I'm lovin life, but of course something always has to be wrong when it seems everything is good. So im always broke cuz I am unemployed and my mother and I got into a huge fight last nite, like she doesn't get that she can't just talk to me any which way cuz I am not the little boy that I used to be. I have my own mind and opinions and honestly when they say respect your elders...I honestly feel like fuck that because if you don't treat me with respect I don't care who you are you're not going to get it from me. I am sorry but she can really piss me off...I love her and all but we just bump heads alot and she keeps tellin me that I need to move out and get the fuck out of her house. Like how is that supposed to make me feel? Trust Mom if I had it my way I would not be living with you right now...Please!?!? lol but yea neways life is good other than my crazy ass mom I can't complain. Just had to vent people.





Until next time...SF

Doin Good...

Ok it's been two weeks since my last post and I wanted to just write a few words. I have been doing alot better. I am finally happy and content. Like i told u in my last post, I am now an intern in development at NC Blumenthal Performing Arts Center and I started that on Tues. I get benefits of free parking and tix to see shows. My mom and I saw the Color Purple musical 2nite and it was amazing. :-) My social life has also picked up tremendously. I go to the club, trivia nites on Tues. and I am meeting new people and making friends all the time now. I guess Charlotte really isn't that bad, it just took me awhile. I also am trying out for a hiphop dance team on Sunday that pays for the gigs they perform at. I am really excited and I hope that I make it. I am nervous but really excited. My life is truly beginning now and I just want to keep the train moving. I applied to American Appearal this past Sunday and I will be calling to follow-up with them so that I can start making some money, but well c but yes people I am happy :-) finally!!!

Until next time...SF

Congratulations to me...

So just a quick post to keep y'all updated but I got my internship so YAY!!! Congratulations to me. I will be a development intern at NC Blumenthal Performing Arts Center and that is what is pictured above.(It's the theatre part of it.) I am happy now because I finally have some structure in my life. Yay!

-SF

Two Peas In A Pod...

I titled it this because we are the same and I've always felt that way. I felt like I have never connected with someone on so many different levels more than her. Now don't get me wrong me n my best friend and my good friends we have strong connections but they're different and with her we had very similar just everything! We have the arts connection and just performing. Our personalities and everyting are similar and I felt and still feel like she was my true SoulMate...

She admitted it today. I am touched. She finally was honest. Things we had argued about and why she couldn't deal with me in the past, now it makes sense. I am so happy and I don't feel great about it cuz its still like damn we went through alot for this to happen but I do find solace in the fact that we're the same person. I feel like her life since she came to BC was what mine was wen I entered and what I went through and its all a learning and growing experience. It's a beautiful thing though coming into your own. Just know I am always here for u BABU <3SF

Interesting Day.

Ok so today, I slept for most of it. I woke up and watched some TV. I smoked some cigs and then I showered so I could get another pack of cigs from the gas station. I got amped and watched the season premiere of America's Best Dance Crew which was really good. I was so excited and then my day got interesting. I called my friend and teamate from the dance group I was in to talk to her about the show and then my ex got on the phone...I kno...Crazy lol

...It was actually good and weird. I got really weird once I heard her voice cuz I hadn't talked to her in so long but it was good to hear her voice. All these memories came back and I just thought about how much has changed in the past 6 months. It made me miss her but I know she is going on with her life and I am trying to but I have to admit something. I haven't told anyone this but I think about this girl every day at some point. I look at her facebook page, twitter, her blogs every day just to somewhat stay involved in her life because I still want to make sure she's doing ok. I hope all the best for her. Talking to her today just made me feel a mix of emotions but it was good talking to her...:-)

Just had to get that off my chest...<3>SF

Through with it...

That's right, I am so good on love, relationships and courting. My best friend the other day said Steph, you really know how to pick 'em. She's right, I always end up talking to or being with the wrong person. Either they're an asshole, crazy, and the list goes on. I really am good. My life sucks alot already and I am truly just trying to work on myself and get a job. I have given up on love. I honestly don't think that I will ever find someone that can handle me. I have been through too much and I don't know I am really good on all that shit. I don't want to get hurt nemore or nething. It does and I know it will be lonely but I really can't take people or trust them so I'm good. I know I sound bitter and maybe I am but I am good...

This song explains exactly how I feel:

Friends...

When I was growing up my mom told me be careful who you call friend because friends come and go but your true friends will stand the test of time. I kno what that means now....

...It's so crazy how people with time can change. When I left high school, I lost some friends. My good friends we're not as close as we were but we still are friends and always will be. Now I graduated college and someone who I considered one of my good good friends has changed alot. I don't know what is wrong. I know that I am alot to deal with and a bitch at times but one thing I know is that I am a good friend. I have been there for this person in so many ways and vice versa. They have been there for me as well, but now things have changed. When I was in Boston, we had a big fight right before I left but then I thought everything was cool the person wanted to see me but I couldn't see them because I had to go to sleep early. When I got home I tried to contact this person and they just ignored my calls and texts and now this person I feel I have lost as a friend. I have to say it hurt alot because we have been through alot but I guess sometimes friendships fade. I called my best friend earlier to vent and I started crying just because I would never expect this from this person but IDK, they just don't seem to care so I guess I shouldnt. I will always hold on to the good times and I will always love this person but IDK. Life is good otherwise and I can't complain...

- SF