(The picture above is titled, The Icing on the Cake)
To address what the icing on the cake for me was. No she did not cheat. I felt that what she did was like her putting a knife to my heart. I felt hurt, angered, enraged and worst of all betrayed.
I said to myself: "My baby would not do this..." All these thoughts: I am going to curse her out. I need to call her. I am about to go to her room. I did not know what to do. I have never been so mad at someone in my life for real...
...She says today in a post: i admit that if he had wrote a blog about me, and some nigha i used to fuck and what positions i used i'd be pissed. but i wouldn't have broken up with him... i would have not talked to him for like 3 or 4 days...
Honestly, in my opinion that is not the case. Anyone who knows her knows that she would not be having that. I asked a friend of mine to put themselves in my shoes or even if they were just friends how would they feel? Their response was: Yo son I would do way more than a text. We definitely would not be cool anymore. I don't even know what I would do...
I feel she says she would be mad but she would def not get over it like that. It was so much more than what people know. People did not have to sit there and read a nasty blog made by their signicant other about them and their past. I was disappointed. It still flashes in my heads. The pictures of "How to have a girlfriend for dummies." Word, I am dumb now. Maybe I was dumb but I don't feel that I mistreated you. I loved you and I still love you. My intentions were never to hurt you. I did not think that I did anything to the extent of what you did. You may not think that but again then we have another issue where we will agree to disagree....
...Idk people this is supposed to be a happy time for me. I am about to graduate from Boston College. My family is about to be here and I should partying and stuff, but I just can't stop thinking about this girl. She has impacted my life so much. I will never regret her coming into my life or anything that went on between us. I just regret the fact that I may have lost her...My world is incomplete and now there is an empty void in my life and in my heart....
- SF
steph you are really sicin it. i didn't mention YOU nor put pictures of YOU nor say anything negative about YOU you are just gettin upset over what i said about your little friend. and what SHE wanted to do to you.
ReplyDeleteAnd had i said what i said in that blog to your face you would not have dumped me. And I would have said all of that 'having a girlfriend' shit to your face. you KNOW how i get when im mad. STOP -acting- like this shit is a surprise to you!!
Why don't you just do what your 'friend' told you to do then. If I fucked up so bad. Let's just not be koo. Fuck it let me make that decision for you. WE ARE NOT COOL.
Maybe i should TEXT it to you! So you can see how it fucking feels.
This is supposed to be a happy time for you. So have your lil 'happy time' without me.
I'm sick of trying.
I can't do this anymore.
you say i've impacted your life but obviously that's only in a negative way.
ReplyDeleteI took your progress as man backwards.. i took your progress as a whole backwards. You were comfortable with who you were before me. so just re-adjust yourself and become comfortable without me. its the same as u were before.
just rewind it.
forget about me.
forget about us.
just remove it from your memory.
cuz things are only gonna get worse if we keep going back and forth. cuz i am honestly beyond angry right now with you. and i see it getting uglier.
i think you are expecting me to beg for you back but i have dignity and im not doing that. and by the sounds of your recent blogs i don't even think that is what you want anymore.
so what am i supposed to do?
i did all i can.
and now i'm afraid that the next thing i hear from you on one of these blogs is really really gonna hurt me. because they just keep getting worse.. and more surprising.. i just can't do this anymore poppie i can't take it this is all just too much over a gat damn blog post.
or whatever its over
its too much.
like i said b4 im sick of trying.
i can't do it anymore.
i'm sorry i really am.
ReplyDeleteStop telling me what I am gettin mad over. You can't read my mind, you don't know what is going on with me...Stop saying sorry like you always told me. Are you just saying sorry? I feel like you're saying it and not knowing why, you're just saying it. It's cool yo, if you feel you did nothing wrong or that you are justified. Dont apologize then babuschka. I just want you to be happy and I don't think I was making you happy. I didn't know what else to do cuz I wasn't seeing what I was doing wrong. :-/
ReplyDelete