Respect Your Elders, Yea Right!

So, it's been awhile but I just wanted to write a quick post before I get ready to go out to the club 2nite, which btw thank God cuz I can't be home right now. So my life is very busy now. I have my internship T, Th and F from 9-3 and then I am in a paid dance group so we have practive every Wed from 7:30 - 9pm. I'm lovin life, but of course something always has to be wrong when it seems everything is good. So im always broke cuz I am unemployed and my mother and I got into a huge fight last nite, like she doesn't get that she can't just talk to me any which way cuz I am not the little boy that I used to be. I have my own mind and opinions and honestly when they say respect your elders...I honestly feel like fuck that because if you don't treat me with respect I don't care who you are you're not going to get it from me. I am sorry but she can really piss me off...I love her and all but we just bump heads alot and she keeps tellin me that I need to move out and get the fuck out of her house. Like how is that supposed to make me feel? Trust Mom if I had it my way I would not be living with you right now...Please!?!? lol but yea neways life is good other than my crazy ass mom I can't complain. Just had to vent people.





Until next time...SF

Doin Good...

Ok it's been two weeks since my last post and I wanted to just write a few words. I have been doing alot better. I am finally happy and content. Like i told u in my last post, I am now an intern in development at NC Blumenthal Performing Arts Center and I started that on Tues. I get benefits of free parking and tix to see shows. My mom and I saw the Color Purple musical 2nite and it was amazing. :-) My social life has also picked up tremendously. I go to the club, trivia nites on Tues. and I am meeting new people and making friends all the time now. I guess Charlotte really isn't that bad, it just took me awhile. I also am trying out for a hiphop dance team on Sunday that pays for the gigs they perform at. I am really excited and I hope that I make it. I am nervous but really excited. My life is truly beginning now and I just want to keep the train moving. I applied to American Appearal this past Sunday and I will be calling to follow-up with them so that I can start making some money, but well c but yes people I am happy :-) finally!!!

Until next time...SF

Congratulations to me...

So just a quick post to keep y'all updated but I got my internship so YAY!!! Congratulations to me. I will be a development intern at NC Blumenthal Performing Arts Center and that is what is pictured above.(It's the theatre part of it.) I am happy now because I finally have some structure in my life. Yay!

-SF

Two Peas In A Pod...

I titled it this because we are the same and I've always felt that way. I felt like I have never connected with someone on so many different levels more than her. Now don't get me wrong me n my best friend and my good friends we have strong connections but they're different and with her we had very similar just everything! We have the arts connection and just performing. Our personalities and everyting are similar and I felt and still feel like she was my true SoulMate...

She admitted it today. I am touched. She finally was honest. Things we had argued about and why she couldn't deal with me in the past, now it makes sense. I am so happy and I don't feel great about it cuz its still like damn we went through alot for this to happen but I do find solace in the fact that we're the same person. I feel like her life since she came to BC was what mine was wen I entered and what I went through and its all a learning and growing experience. It's a beautiful thing though coming into your own. Just know I am always here for u BABU <3SF

Interesting Day.

Ok so today, I slept for most of it. I woke up and watched some TV. I smoked some cigs and then I showered so I could get another pack of cigs from the gas station. I got amped and watched the season premiere of America's Best Dance Crew which was really good. I was so excited and then my day got interesting. I called my friend and teamate from the dance group I was in to talk to her about the show and then my ex got on the phone...I kno...Crazy lol

...It was actually good and weird. I got really weird once I heard her voice cuz I hadn't talked to her in so long but it was good to hear her voice. All these memories came back and I just thought about how much has changed in the past 6 months. It made me miss her but I know she is going on with her life and I am trying to but I have to admit something. I haven't told anyone this but I think about this girl every day at some point. I look at her facebook page, twitter, her blogs every day just to somewhat stay involved in her life because I still want to make sure she's doing ok. I hope all the best for her. Talking to her today just made me feel a mix of emotions but it was good talking to her...:-)

Just had to get that off my chest...<3>SF

Through with it...

That's right, I am so good on love, relationships and courting. My best friend the other day said Steph, you really know how to pick 'em. She's right, I always end up talking to or being with the wrong person. Either they're an asshole, crazy, and the list goes on. I really am good. My life sucks alot already and I am truly just trying to work on myself and get a job. I have given up on love. I honestly don't think that I will ever find someone that can handle me. I have been through too much and I don't know I am really good on all that shit. I don't want to get hurt nemore or nething. It does and I know it will be lonely but I really can't take people or trust them so I'm good. I know I sound bitter and maybe I am but I am good...

This song explains exactly how I feel:

Friends...

When I was growing up my mom told me be careful who you call friend because friends come and go but your true friends will stand the test of time. I kno what that means now....

...It's so crazy how people with time can change. When I left high school, I lost some friends. My good friends we're not as close as we were but we still are friends and always will be. Now I graduated college and someone who I considered one of my good good friends has changed alot. I don't know what is wrong. I know that I am alot to deal with and a bitch at times but one thing I know is that I am a good friend. I have been there for this person in so many ways and vice versa. They have been there for me as well, but now things have changed. When I was in Boston, we had a big fight right before I left but then I thought everything was cool the person wanted to see me but I couldn't see them because I had to go to sleep early. When I got home I tried to contact this person and they just ignored my calls and texts and now this person I feel I have lost as a friend. I have to say it hurt alot because we have been through alot but I guess sometimes friendships fade. I called my best friend earlier to vent and I started crying just because I would never expect this from this person but IDK, they just don't seem to care so I guess I shouldnt. I will always hold on to the good times and I will always love this person but IDK. Life is good otherwise and I can't complain...

- SF

Things Are Looking Up...

Ok, so this past week has been crazy for me. Monday, I was in Boston. Tuesday, I drove back to Charlotte. Wednesday, I slept all day. Thursday, I had an interview with an insurance company and got hired.(That was some bullshit) Friday, I applied to many different jobs and an incredible internship opportunity for a major Performing Arts Center in Charlotte, I went out with my mom to eat and had some drinks and randomly went out with my friend Rufus. Today being Saturday, I attended a special open call at a Talent Agency here in Charlotte called Carolina Talent. But today was a good day. I tried out, I had to walk for them and then read a commercial and they loved me!!! :-) They want to represent me. I can honestly say that things are beginning to look up. Right now what would be ideal for me is to have a part-time job, get and do my internship and doing commercials, TV and film for Carolina Talent. That is what I want. I feel this would be great for me to start meeting people and having social interactions and many different experiences but now I am getting excited about the possibilities of my new life here in Charlotte. I hope everything begins to just start soon cuz I am ready. Yes, I know I am rambling but I just wanted to keep y'all up to date with my life right now so yea. The biggest thing right now for me is just to stay strong and positive. I miss my friends and my life in Boston and I need to make a trip up there soon but I am excited to see what this new place has to offer. Ok that is all for now people.
Until next time, SF



PS - Random tidbit: Me and my friend Rufus were talking about living together when he graduates so I am excited that means I need to get it together so that I can move out next year sometime...but yea my life just needs to come together...Yipeee :-) haha

Random quote...

Before you read play this just for some random listening:

"The truth is, everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."
— Bob Marley

I have been doing alot of thinking lately. I have been crying and all of that. Yea, I guess you could say right now I am emo haha, but I stumbled upon this quote and it just really made me think. I actually feel like its true because if you think about it there is noone that we love and care about who hasn't hurt us. I love my mom to death but she has hurt me and vice versa. I know that I have hurt her as well. I have great friends and stuff but we have had our moments where we have hurt one another but to me they are worth it because we get through the suffering but it is kind of crazy that people will forever hurt you, ehhh I guess Such is Life...




Just a random quote and a random thought...Tell me what y'all think

- SF

Music Update

Ok you see this chica right here...I fucking love her and if you don't know about her you need to know who she is. I tell all my friends that I look at her as the Female "Wayne." Her flow is crazy. She is the "Black, Chinese and Butter Pecan," as she says on one of her records...This is Nicki Minaj. She is currently independent and has tons of offers for deals but she's amazing. I really like her latest mixtape "Beam Me Up Scotty." She is just ill...

This is my favorite song from her called Itty Bitty Piggy:



And just so you can know her better, check a part of this quick interview she has about how a dude can get at her...I love her. She's a bad bitch. I hope y'all enjoy <3 SF

FML

Yes, you read the title right, this post is titled FML(Fuck My Life) for those who don't know what it means...

...First let me say that I know that my life is not as bad as others and I know that I am blessed and fortunate to have a good mother, good friends and so forth, but I am back home in Charlotte. My mom told me she couldn't and wouldn't support me anymore unless I came home and so I came home because honestly what can I do. I had my car up there and I needed money for gas. Now I am back and I just miss my friends alot and I miss my college life somewhat or maybe not even the life but just not having to worry about anything. I still haven't found a job and it's so frustrating. I grew up knowing that I had to go to college to secure my future and now it seems especially with the economy that college doesn't even mean shit nemore. Now I am in debt and I have a degree but no job and no money. I just sit in my house and apply to jobs and I have only two friends here so I am very alone all the time which is so not like me but I guess I should not complain because things could be alot worse...
...Sorry I just needed to vent, SF

Slackin....

Ok...so like the title says and I know I say this alot but I have been slackin. I kno, I kno and it's because my life became so boring that I had nothing interesting to say nemore and I still feel like I'm boring but life has gotten a bit more interesting these days...hehe


...As you guys know, I returned back to Charlotte, NC after graduation and I had been actively applying and looking for jobs and I was getting nothing. I came to Boston on July 5 me and my bestie Cass drove up cuz my mom thought maybe I could come here and have better opportunities...So NOT THE CASE but it's cool. I have been having alot of fun. Being with my best friend Cassie and my nigga Hasani and seeing some old friends has been great but being here just made me realize how much I have gotten used to my life post-grad. I really dont have time for stupid childish games, drama, gossip and all the other BS that comes when you are at BC. I had an interview for a job and it was good but I did not get the job. I was in Forever 21 yesterday and this girl who worked as a cashier approached me and said I should apply. I did and I am going to wait to see if I hear from them and if not o well. At this point, I have no problem going home. I miss my mom alot, but I know I will be sad cuz Im going to miss my friends who are like my second family especially Cass who is the best friend you could ever ask for. But yea other than that I just realized that I've outgrown alot of the shit at BC and I want this new chapter in my life to really get going haha....
...One thing that I want to say before ending this post is I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. I have a degree and I am chillin. I have good friends and some good family and I know that I am blessed. People don't ever lose yourself it can be the hardest thing to come out of and I found myself again and I am happy, happy, HAPPY!!!!! :-) Life is better and alot easier just being you. I love my life and everyone should cherish what the world has to offer...Nuthing but opportunity.

Until next time, SF

It's Been A While

It's been awhile since I have posted but that's because LIFE for me has become so uneventful. I am working on personal growth and trying to find a job. This economy is seriously in a recession. I know that I wrote about it before, but now kind of being in the real world, I truly understand what it means now...

...I have a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT(PSA):



People that are in college. Seriously stay in school forever. I know that it seems hard and no matter what school you are in, it can get frustrating. I know that personally when I was in college, I complained alot about the most arbitrary things but at the end of the day, I realized that I took my time in college for granted. Forget high school, College is the best four years of your life. There are certain experiences that I had and things that I did that I could never do again and I truly miss it. I miss my friends that I have made for life and just the experience as a whole. I value the education that I received from Boston College and I cherish the experience. I do not regret anything and I would do it again if I could...:-)

Tough times...

I can honestly say that graduating was a blessing and a curse. I have never been so unhappy and depressed in my life. I almost wished that I did not graduate because I honestly feel that me graduating stained and tarnished certain relationships. For example, my mother and I since I have moved back home we are constantly fighting and like I don't argue anymore because she is my mother and I have to respect her, but on the inside I am so frustrated and upset.
I have also had this feeling of being alone so much because I feel like most people don't understand what I am going through. Most of my good friends stayed in Boston and though they may be unemployed at least they have each other. I am in this state where all I have is my mom and two friends physically near and it's just not the same. I honestly don't know what to do about anything anymore. I have been applying to jobs daily and still no response except for a modeling agency but I have to wait to see if they want to sign me. My relationship is also very tough for a number of reasons that I am not going to put on this but it just got a lot tougher because of the distance and it hurts so much. I have never been this unhappy in my life...

-SF

Twitter: The New Revolution

Ok so just recently I got into twitter. I had an account for a couple months but I had not really gotten into it. I felt that it was boring, but I was WRONG! Twitter is actually really fun and cool. I now update stuff on my twitter from my phone and I have alerts for certain people that I am following through my phone. You can also directly message people. Also there are celebrities on twitter. For example, I follow Ciara on twitter and I know basically alot of what she's doing day to day. It's really fun and interesting. I think its a great new social networking site and everyone should take a look at it. Here's the website folks: www.twitter.com

Start Tweeting!!!!!

Melanie Fiona's Cover

So there is a new artist named Melanie Fiona and this is a video of her covering India Arie's "Ready For Love." Her voice is amazing and I really like her music so check the vid out and check her info. out. I think she's has something special so look out for her making it big soon...

The Real World

The Real World...

Now that I am in it, I realize the real world is hard. I just graduated from Boston College (Woop, Woop, GO EAGLES!) and I can honestly say that now I have been hit with a reality check. I have been applying to jobs for months way before graduation and I have not received anything. This economy is really in bad shape. I have been applying everywhere and it's getting frustrating. The crazy thing is that my mom is not pressuring me, but now that I am out of school, I want to make money. I want to be able to help my mom, save up to get my own place and get ready to start paying loans. I am currently living off my graduation money. Thank God! Honestly, this shit is getting real.

On another note, I wrote a post a day or two ago about the show, So You Think You Can Dance. I was going to audition. People who know me know that dancing is my true passion, but I am currently fighting an internal conflict because I don't know if SYTYCD is for me because I want to be in videos and on tour and this show is all about what can get them ratings and they also don't respect hip hop. My girlfriend just tried out today and she confirmed all the reservations I was having, especially after watching the season premiere last nite. I have friends who say that I should still do it for the experience because it can prepare me for auditioning in the dance world and while I think that is true I do not know if this is the right thing for me. So I am at a crossroads...

My life is truly just beginning but this is how I feel about it:

I just want to know what that plot is!!!!! - SF

So You Think You Can Dance...

So...

You guys know the show, So You Think You Can Dance. Yea, so I am thinking about trying out for it. Actually, I am pretty much saying to myself that I am going to do it. I am a dancer and dance is my passion. I feel like what do I have to lose. One of my good friends broke it down like you have no other commitments and I graduated so honestly, what do I have to lose? My girlfriend is trying out on Thursday and I am so excited for her, but she is also my biggest motivation and fan. I feel that I want to do this for myself and for her. I would be so happy if we both made it. I am really nervous but I think that I am going to do it...I'm so nervous. Wish me luck y'all - SF

Beyonce's "Ego" : New Video

So anyone who knows me, knows that I am a HUUGGGGEE Beyonce fan. I love anything that she is involved in. I love her movies, her songs, her albums, EVERYTHING!!! I just saw the new video for her single "Ego." I think this vid is hot. It is very simple but like they say "Less is More." The video's choreography is sexy and she looks radiant. The song is about the fact that a person has the swagger when they walk and talk and that is what makes her attracted to them (aka Jay-Z), but she is also saying that not only does the guy have the swagger, she does too. Watch the video below and tell me what y'all think...:

The Start of My New Life...

So it's official y'all, I graduated. 3 days ago, Monday, May 18, 2009 was the day when my life was going to change. It was so crazy wearing my cap and gown and waiting for my degree. I was overwhelmed with emotions especially when I saw my family, 2 of my best friends and my girlfriend all in the stands so proud of me. As I walked around and saw past friends from my class and my other peers, I just got a flashback of all four years. I saw people who I had class with but never knew. I saw people that used to be some of my closest friends. The list could go on but it was amazing because despite all of the bullshit. I was proud of us. We all struggled and went through stuff but it was all worth it because we all came her for the same purpose to get that degree. I am so proud to be an alumnus of Boston College. I honestly never thought I would see this day and I guess that's what made me so overwhelmed with emotions. I guess I never mentally prepared myself for the fact that I was graduating...




...The hardest part of it all was leaving my friends, my girl and the life that I had made for myself these past four years, but I know that it will be ok. I truly feel that I am a man now and I have to step up to the plate of Life that is lol. I am currently trying to find a job and also pursue my dream of dance at the same time. Wish me luck! That is all for now.





- SF

I Know...I Know

Ok I know, I know, I have been slacking. I have been so busy and overwhelmed because I am graduating college. YAY!!!!! Yes, u heard it, I am about to be an official alumnus of Boston College on Monday, May 18, 2009. I am so proud of myself for making it this far. I have made some great friends and I also have a fulfilling relationship that I got all through my BC career. I have to say, I can honestly say that all of this was worth. I feel that me getting my degree from this institution is going to put me in a great position despite the economy. Ok folks, that is all for now but I will be updating more once I graduate. 3 DAYS!!!!!

- SF

In A Perfect World...

So I decided that from now on, every week I will talk about something in music. That could mean talking about an album, maybe a show, a song, etc. I just want to do it. I want to share some of my favorite things about music with you...So here


Right now, I have been playing Keri Hilson's CD, In A Perfect World every day. This CD is amazing. It has everything. Club bangers, good slow love ballads, mellow chill music and the list goes on. Keri Hilson has amazing vocals. She has good range and she hits great riffs. One of my favorite songs on the album is Make Love. It is special to me for many reasons. I love Keri's voice on the tracks and the lyrical content is ill. Another one of my favorites is the song is Return the Favor Feat. Timbaland. This track is crazy. I love the beat, it is very different from most Timbaland produced tracks and also there is a part in the song near the end where Keri hits some beautiful notes especially the vibratos. All in all, this is CD is a great album and I highly recommend that you people get out there and support Keri Hilson because she's a true artist. She's beautiful, she writes her own songs and she has great vocal talent to back up her name. That's all for now, I am going back to my fantasy.(The album, In A Perfect World)

Tracklist for In A Perfect World:

1. Intro
2. Turnin Me On ft. Lil Wayne
3. Get Your Money Up ft. Keyshia Cole & Trina
4. Return The Favor ft. Timbaland

5. Knock You Down ft. Ne-Yo & Kanye west

6. Slow Dance

7. Make Love

8. Intuition

9. How Does It Feel

10. Alienated

11. Tell Him the Truth

12. Change Me ft. Akon

13. Energy

14. Where Did He Go

Hope you all enjoy! :-)

- SF

Sorry...

Sorry for not updating this past day or so but I will get to it...I am going out 2nite trying to celebrate the fact that I have finished my undergraduate work and now I am just waiting to graduate!!!! I am proud of myself and still wondering how I made it? I will be back to write soon...

- SF

Love <3

Love:

Love is Beautiful

Love is Rare

Love is Hard

Love Hurts

Love Feels Good

But when you find love, it is the most amazing experience ever. The ups and the downs and the memories that you have to share. Having someone to be there for you and you for them. Someone to call yours. It is Beautiful!

L is for the passion that I see when we Look into each other's eyes

O is for the Only one for me

V is for the Very Very extraordinary relationship that we have

E is for Everything we have shared and what is still to come...

I am sure that you can tell by all of this mumbo jumbo that I just rambled that I am so happy to be back with her. She is my everything. I felt incomplete without her and I just did not feel right. I did what I thought was necessary for the benefit of us and though it was hard for me...It made us change because we realized that we loved each other too much to just let each other go especially after all that we have worked towards already. I only see our relationship only growing and getting better because of this(her wake-up call, as we said)...<3

...Ok so I know lately my blog has been all about my problems in my relationship and stuff, but that is not what my blog is about. I realized the other day that I never really gave an introduction about my blog, I just went in and wrote my thoughts. So here it is...Dance is Life is the name of my blog. I named it that because Dance is my life. It was the only thing in my life that I always stuck with. I live, breathe and eat dance. I dance from the time I get up to right before I go to bed. I dance at parties. I learn new choreography all of the time. I danced in a group. I want to pursue it because it is my fantasy. Dance is my release. It is my therapy. Dance is one of my best friends. As you can tell I love dance. I want my blog to be personal, but I will also talk about entertainment venues and things of that nature that I enjoy. My blog is me. I tend to rant and ramble sometimes.(So you may read it) I am a free-spirited individual. I am very open about myself and how I feel about things. I can be somewhat outspoken. I am crazy, but I love myself. I started this blog for myself and for others, if they are interested to get into my thoughts and just me, Stephon. I hope y'all enjoy what is to come.

-SF

Addressing the "Icing on the Cake"

(The picture above is titled, The Icing on the Cake)

To address what the icing on the cake for me was. No she did not cheat. I felt that what she did was like her putting a knife to my heart. I felt hurt, angered, enraged and worst of all betrayed.

I said to myself: "My baby would not do this..." All these thoughts: I am going to curse her out. I need to call her. I am about to go to her room. I did not know what to do. I have never been so mad at someone in my life for real...

...She says today in a post: i admit that if he had wrote a blog about me, and some nigha i used to fuck and what positions i used i'd be pissed. but i wouldn't have broken up with him... i would have not talked to him for like 3 or 4 days...

Honestly, in my opinion that is not the case. Anyone who knows her knows that she would not be having that. I asked a friend of mine to put themselves in my shoes or even if they were just friends how would they feel? Their response was: Yo son I would do way more than a text. We definitely would not be cool anymore. I don't even know what I would do...

I feel she says she would be mad but she would def not get over it like that. It was so much more than what people know. People did not have to sit there and read a nasty blog made by their signicant other about them and their past. I was disappointed. It still flashes in my heads. The pictures of "How to have a girlfriend for dummies." Word, I am dumb now. Maybe I was dumb but I don't feel that I mistreated you. I loved you and I still love you. My intentions were never to hurt you. I did not think that I did anything to the extent of what you did. You may not think that but again then we have another issue where we will agree to disagree....

...Idk people this is supposed to be a happy time for me. I am about to graduate from Boston College. My family is about to be here and I should partying and stuff, but I just can't stop thinking about this girl. She has impacted my life so much. I will never regret her coming into my life or anything that went on between us. I just regret the fact that I may have lost her...My world is incomplete and now there is an empty void in my life and in my heart....

- SF

A Little Bit...

"Hands down I'm too proud for love

But with eyes shut it's you I'm thinking of

But how we move from A to B It can't be up to me

Cause you don't know who I was before you

Basically to see a change in me

I'd be losing so I just ignore you, yeah" - Drake, Little Bit feat. Lykke Li

I honestly can't stop thinking about her. I feel fine sometimes and then my mind wanders... I think about everything. The good and the bad that happened. Our friendship and our relationship. Where did we go wrong? I honestly do not want to lose her in my life, but I feel like I already did. I do still want to help her move. I do still want to see her before I leave...I don't know. There are still so many unanswered questions and so many things left unsaid. From what I hear, she wants nothing to do with me and I understand because she is upset, she is sad, she's hurting. I just hope one day we can grow and get past this. Our problem was that we were each other. We are the same person. I know it may sound crazy but I feel like we are. The only problem was that she is me when I was 19 years old. I have experienced alot and dealt with stuff that she has not. Don't get me wrong, she has gone through things in her life and she has some experience, but she still has growing to do. I am not saying that I am perfect. I still have growing to do, but maybe we couldn't see eye to eye because we are in two different mindsets. I look at her and I see myself when I was 19 and it scares me because I have evolved into this confident person that is secure with himself. I was happy and finally ok with myself. I feel that when I was with her, I was regressing back to my old self. I felt that I was losing touch with this person that I had grown to be...I love her, I do and I did this for the both of us. I didn't want us both to keep being upset at each other to the point that we end up hating each other. I have nothing but love for her ....I don't know where to go from here...I am just still sitting lost in my thoughts :-/

- SF

Torn Update...

I also want you to know this decision was not easy for me...It was hard for me for real. I broke down later last nite after thinking about how much I love you. I got really trashed to numb my pain but when I woke up, I still had the same fucked up feeling of uneasiness, sadness, anger, frustration, etc. I don't know what else to say or what to do...

Torn...

"I’m torn between what was and what could be."

I don't know who said this but I think it speaks to what I am feeling at this present moment. I love her, I truly do. It's so weird sleeping in my bed alone now. I see her today and no interaction. My phone so silent because I am not gettin a text or a call from Baby. That shit hurt.


I didn't know what to do anymore. I felt that our relationship was spiraling into a sea of negativity. She's been writing stuff saying the she's effed up and stuff. I do not blame her. Our relationship was a decision that we came to mutually and the problems that we had involved both parties. I don't think that it is all her fault. I definitely had a part to play but that was the problem. The things that I was faulted for, I honestly couldn't see how I was wrong? The stuff she claimed about me, she couldn't stop and see my side. She says given me chance after chance and I will admit she has, but what she did, I don't think I have ever took it that far. To have someone who says they love you and care about you write things about your personal sexual past online for anyone to see and stuff that I told you with the love we have I thought I could trust her. I never thought she would do that. The funny thing is if I did something like that to her, I truly wonder what she would have done to me? What she did, showed me a side of her character that maybe I was not strong enough or man enough to handle. That hurt me so bad. You've given me chance after chance but I don't think I have done anything to that level to you...


...Where do we go from here? I don't know. I want to be her friend. I wonder if I made a mistake now. I miss her. I do. I miss holding her, kissing her, her warm beautiful smile and those beautiful brown eyes that I got lost in. A mutual friend said she wished we had talked before this decision was made and I do now, but I don't think she'll ever want to talk to me again. I miss u. I miss us. I miss our friendship and our love...


"When you love someone,





And you love them with your heart,





It never disappears,





When you're apart.





And when you love someone





And you've done all you can do,





You set them free,





And if that love was true...





When you love someone





It will all come back to you."
-- Forget Paris











...Maybe one day, Poppie <3

This Is What You Signed Up For...

(This picture above is titled, Frustration)

...I have a friend who is dating a girl. Him and his girl had such a strong connection as friends that it evolved into a relationship, but of course every relationship has its problems. The biggest problem he has with her is that he has made a tremendous amount of changes for this girl, which is fine because he wanted to, but it seems as if his girl is not willing to do the same...

... I was reading an article about dating and relationships and it said: "Compromise is undoubtedly the key to many problems we face. We are so set in our ways that only our way will do. And so arises the great problem in dating and relationships. If only we could compromise, then we would be better placed to find common ground and work things out." This statement is how my friend feels. He feels that his girl is so set in her ways, she's not even willing to change a little for him. When they have argued, she throws everything on him and everything is his fault. When he finally mustered up the courage to tell her about herself, her response was: This is what you signed up for. That statement hit him like a ton of bricks. Last night they had another tense encounter and once she left, he said he went to bed and that statement "This is what you signed up for" kept replaying in his head over and over. He feels frustration, anger, sadness because he would do anything for this girl, but he doesn't know now if she would do the same for him...

...His girl is so set in her ways and he thinks she knows that but it's almost like she doesn't care about his feelings. He feels that there is nothing more he can do. His girlfriend has been so hard on him that it has gotten to the point where it is like what more can he take? What does he do from here...IDK

...In my opinion, relationships are an agreement that 2 people make to be committed to each other and work through the problems that they have which may include making compromise. What do you do when you feel that the relationship is one-sided? Something to think about...

Until next time, SF

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

So I just saw X-Men Origins, the Wolverine movie and all I have to say is AMAAAZZZZINNNGGG!!! I suggest that everyone go and check it out. The cinematography is crazy and the action scenes are wild. Just see it! I am going to stop writing because I do not want to give anything away but the movie is GREAT!!!! Two thumbs up lol...

...Until next time, SF

My First Time...

The one thing that I want you to take away from this post is: Life is too short and it is something that we take for granted everyday. I have a good friend that is like family to me and she was hit by a car a couple weeks ago. She is fine and the only thing that happened to her is her leg is broken, but she is recovering fast. It was in this moment, that I realized her situation could have been a lot worse. I thank God for sparing her life. This situation that happened was also a wake-up call for me. I feel that I took a lot for granted and now that I am leaving in 18 days, I just want to make the most of every moment and day that I have left here...

...So this is my first time writing for a blog. I have always been into blogs, especially music ones, but I never felt that I had anything compelling to say or share with the world. After talking to a few people including my best friend and my girlfriend, I decided to take a shot at it. Hey, what the hell right?!...

...So after four years, today was the day where I had my actual last day of classes in college, ever! I have honestly been very emotional lately. Today I was walking from my Choreography class to my Music class and as I was looking around my school (Boston College), I got a wave of mixed emotions and I began to cry a little because I could not believe that college is about to be over. Four years ago, I came here very scared, insecure and just not comfortable with myself as a person. Over the years here at BC, I have definitely had my fair share of drama, losing friends, gaining friends, struggling academically and the list goes on. Looking back at these past four years now, I would not trade it for the world. I can honestly say that now, being 21, I have gained a lot of wisdom, some great friendships and true life experience. I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I am secure with myself and comfortable with myself. I am a happy and a more positive person now and I have a new found outlook on life. So again, Life is too short and it is something that we take for granted everyday.

...Just think about it.

Until next time, SF